


night changes (we'll be okay)

by laurenswriting



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Childhood Friends, College, Forgive Me, Friends to Lovers, High School, M/M, Neighbors, Road Trip, TW: cancer; thunderstorms/lightning; death (implied); car accidents (implied), also they discover swearing halfway through, and they're in america, but sorta not really??, i suck at summaries im sorry, i told you it was a super au, it's better than the summary i swear to you, like a super duper au, so there's that, they're also the same age
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-28
Updated: 2015-01-28
Packaged: 2018-03-09 09:47:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3245114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurenswriting/pseuds/laurenswriting
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’re going to be okay, your mom’s going to be okay, and we’ll all get through this.”</p><p>“You really think so?”</p><p>“I promise you, Harry, everything will turn out alright.” </p><p>(or: an au in which louis and harry are neighbors and best friends and everything is great until it's not.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	night changes (we'll be okay)

**Author's Note:**

> so this originally started out as a "combine-two-random-genres" assignment for my creative writing class but then one of my friends commented that one character was very Harry-like and it just spiraled from there and now I have this. 
> 
> *Trigger Warnings: cancer, death, car accidents, thunderstorms/lightning*

The trees blurred together in an infinite strip of green and brown, the cold streets shrouded in grey. Dark clouds overhead blocked the stars, the night stretching endlessly above the Earth and crowding in on the single car below all at the same time.

It wasn’t late by any means. Dusk had barely settled over the lonely summer road. But in rural Pennsylvania, it seemed, the setting sun signaled house arrest and lights out.

Louis sighed, his grip on the steering wheel tightening at every burst of thunder that split the sky.

“Maybe we should pull over for the night, babe,” Harry suggested, eyeing the raindrops slipping down his window. “There has to be a motel here somewhere, right? We got off the highway ages ago.”

“Not for another fifteen miles,” Louis scoffed, turning the windshield wipers up a notch. “Besides, we don’t really have the time to stop early. We only have a week until orientation starts.”

Harry sighed, leaning his forehead against the cool window as guilt colored his features. “I know,” he whispered, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth, the metallic taste of blood flooding onto his tongue.

Without hesitation, Louis intertwined his fingers with Harry’s, squeezing his hand slightly to stop its trembling.

“Hey,” he breathed, flicking his navy gaze to the boy folding into himself in the passenger seat. “It’s okay. You did what you needed to do, and now we’re off. USC, remember? Like we’ve always wanted?”

Harry’s pink lips curled into a smile, his mind flashing through images of a bright-eyed little boy and his grey-snowsuit-clad neighbor surrounded by cold Massachusetts snow, dreaming of Californian paradise.

“Yeah,” he muttered, pressing circles into the back of Louis’ hand. “It’s just…I-I shouldn’t be doing this now, you know? Defer my acceptance for a year, take some classes down at the community college…just wait it out.”

Louis’ face instantly softened, exhaling slowly. “She wants you to go, love,” he replied, his voice gentle and strong.

“I know, but,” Harry began, pursing his lips to hold back the tears. “It’s been so bad lately. What if, what if she —”

“Don’t talk like that, Harry,” Louis soothed, shushing him. “Your mother is one of the strongest people I know. She got through this before, and she’ll get through it again.”

Harry gave Louis a shaky nod, using his free hand to wipe away the wetness pooling in his emerald eyes.

“Just have faith, babe,” Louis whispered, lifting their joined hands up to press a soft kiss to the back of Harry’s.

Harry turned away, bringing his knees up to his chest and curling up on the small cushion. He stared out the window without seeing anything, the world passing by him in a mess of muted colors.

[-]

Louis didn’t have very many friends growing up. He always wanted to be at the center of things, always had to give his opinion. But, like most children, he lacked a filter and he took things too far and he pushed people away. Kids get their feelings hurt easily, and they hold grudges too simple and too complicated to be solved with a few games on the playground.

It was Louis, his mother, his younger sisters, and a shelf full of books for years on end. In third grade, though, when Harry’s family bought the abandoned home next door, Louis finally found someone to balance him out.

He and Harry were attached at the hip from the moment they met, spending their school years building snowmen in the winter and sandcastles in the summer. Days were filled with enlisting Louis’ sisters to act out his favorite stories in their old treehouse, or building pillow forts in Harry’s playroom. As the two got older, they ditched the backyard for the movie theater or the bookstore, found a babysitter for the little girls so that they could go to a soccer match. It was LouisandHarry, HarryandLouis. For the first time in Louis’s short little life, everything was great.

Until it wasn’t.

On the last day of eighth grade, Louis rushed home with the sole intention of finding Harry and telling him all that he had missed: the awards that were passed out, the cupcakes that were on sale in the cafeteria, the joys of never having to go into the middle school again. His tennis sneakers smacked the pavement as he ran, the sharp sound adding to the street’s suburban symphony. Breathing heavily, he pounded on Harry’s front door, his backpack slowly sliding off of his shoulders.

“Hi, Gemma!” Louis said as the door opened, revealing a tall blonde with bloodshot eyes. “Is Harry —”

“I think you should go home, Louis,” Gemma interrupted, staring down at the rough welcome mat.

“Oh, um,” Louis stuttered. “Is he sick?” He lifted up onto his toes like a bird taking flight, bouncing with worry and blind hope.

“No, he’s…” Gemma trailed off, the front door inching shut. “I’ll tell him you came by.”

“Okay, Gems. Thanks.” Louis turned away as the slam echoed in his ears, dejected.

“Lou?” came a timid voice, sliding through the crack between the door and the wall. He whipped around, gnawing at his bottom lip, as a puffy-eyed Harry stumbled out of his house and down the front steps. Louis instantly brightened, his grin splitting through his cheeks despite Harry’s broken demeanor.

“Hey, where were you today?” he asked, searching Harry’s face for some semblance of happiness. “Is everything alright? Were you sick? Gem didn’t really say much, just that — Hazza?” Louis paused, watching as the boy before him crumbled onto the step, his head in his hands. Louis’ backpack thumped to the ground as he dropped down beside Harry wordlessly, wrapping his thin arms around his shaking body.

The seconds passed in silence, only interrupted by the sharp cry of a dog or the soft chatter of nosy neighbors. Harry huddled himself against Louis, his face pressed into the crook of Louis’ neck as the older boy’s chin rested atop his head, salty tears staining both of their shirts. With every sob that broke through Harry, Louis’s arms only tightened. Nothing, not fire, not water, not an earthquake of the highest magnitude, could tear him away.

Seconds turned to minutes, and Harry’s crying slowed, his fingers still clutching onto Louis’s t-shirt.

“I’m sorry,” he stammered as he pulled away, wiping his eyes furiously.

“No, don’t worry about it,” Louis soothed, pushing a stray curl away from Harry’s eyes. “Just…what happened?”

“My mom,” he whispered, staring off into the distance unseeingly, eyes glazing over. “She’s sick. Really sick. The not-going-to-get-better kind of sick.”

“Harry…” Louis breathed, pulling him back into his arms as the tears started again, this time from blue eyes as well as green. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

“It’s not fair. It’s not fucking fair, Lou!” Harry’s sobs hit Louis like a freight train, the sight of his best friend in tatters killing him.

“Oh, God, I know, Hazza, but it’s all going to be okay, I swear,” Louis desperately reassured him, his tears falling onto chestnut curls. His voice was solid and strong, every emotion he had ever felt being poured into his words. “You’re going to be okay, your mom’s going to be okay, and we’ll all get through this.”

Harry sniffled, looking up from his place cuddled in Louis’ arms. “You really think so?”

“I promise you, Harry, everything will turn out alright.”

They sat on the steps for hours, not wanting to leave and accept that their world had changed. From that moment on, Louis had to take on the role of the supporter, the protector, the nurturer. He fielded the bordering-on-rude questions from classmates, drew the attention away from Harry in the cafeteria. The filter that he had built up over the years vanished in seconds, leaving anyone that dared to badmouth his best friend vulnerable to Louis’ wrath. But in Louis’ light, Harry disappeared, a shell of the bright boy he used to be. Gone were the optimism and the talkativeness, the effervescent personality that made Harry who he was.

Louis loved him all the same.

He pulled Harry out of his misery when he could, comforted him in it when life got too hard for him to fix. Over the next two years, Harry spent more nights at Louis’ house than in his own home, switching from the guest room to Louis’ room when the darkness in his chest got too heavy. Worries were whispered into the still air, soft singing drowned out low cries, pillowcases were dampened from the worst days. It was all very innocent; Louis’ presence beside him reminded Harry that he had someone that wouldn’t leave, someone that would listen to him and hold him and remind him that everything would be okay in the end.

Because of Louis, Harry kept up hope. Every day was a rollercoaster ride, his emotions entwined with his mother’s current, and often dismal, state. Regardless, life was laced with the belief that the world would fix itself and his mom, Anne, would be okay in the end. Louis helped him when he couldn’t help himself, and they got impossibly closer, Harry refusing to open up to anyone other than him. Louis was his rock, steady and strong and full of unconditional love and support.

The winter of Harry and Louis’ sophomore year was the worst they had had in years. Snowstorm after snowstorm blanketed the town in a constant white, their dreams of escaping to the west coast more alive than ever.

Just a few days after Louis’ birthday came the coldest day of the year, the temperature dropping by the second. Harry ran out of his house, sliding on ice as the hood of his sweatshirt bounced out of his jacket. Wind nearly froze the tears on his cheeks as he rang Louis’s doorbell frantically, bouncing on his toes as he waited for the door to open.

“Hi, Harry!” Charlotte, one of Louis’ younger sisters, exclaimed as she let Harry into the warmth of the house.

“Is Louis here?” he asked, flicking his gaze around the front room.

“Haz?” they heard, followed by the sound of feet on the stairs. Louis appeared on the stairwell, running a hand through his caramel hair as he approached the pair. “Why are you crying?” he questioned, his brow furrowing with fear. “Oh, fuck, what’s – umpfh!”

Harry broke out into his first bright smile in months and launched himself at Louis, knocking him off balance and nearly sending them both stumbling to the ground.

“Jeez, Harry, hello to you, too,” Louis laughed, attempting to regain his footing in Harry’s tight grip. “Not that I’m objecting here, but, what’s up with you?”

“Remission,” he whispered as his arms snaked around Louis’ shoulders, still in a state of shock. “She’s in remission.”

Louis let out a sharp, surprised bark of a laugh, burying his face into the crook of Harry’s neck. “I told you everything would be okay!” Louis exclaimed, his voice muffled by Harry’s shirt, the both of them still clinging to each other. “I fucking told you, Harry Styles, every single day!”

“Yeah, I know,” Harry said breathlessly, his watery gaze sweeping Louis’ face as he pulled back. “Every day.”

He surged forward in a moment of courage, capturing Louis’ lips with his. It was leaping off of the cliff, opening up the trapdoor, letting go of the tree branch: the definitive moment, the only one that mattered. Seven years of friendship faded away as soon as Louis’ hands drifted to Harry’s waist, pulling him ever closer.

“Ugh,” Lottie groaned, walking past them as she made her escape.

Louis and Harry parted with a laugh, Harry dropping his head with a sigh as her retreating footsteps reverberated through the room.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, was that —”

“It was perfect, Haz,” Louis finished, a slight sense of wonder dancing in his eyes.

“That…that just happened,” Harry began, shaking his head in a mixture of disbelief, shock, and pure, unadulterated joy. “I just did that, didn't I?”

“Nice observation there,” Louis replied dryly, trying to hold back the light laugh that threatened to escape. He pulled back and raised his eyebrow, his teeth breaking into the plush pink of his lip. “You think it could maybe happen again?”

“You’re a dork, you know,” Harry deadpanned, a smile aching to creep onto his face. He leaned back in regardless, their lips meeting with more confidence than before.

With Anne’s newfound health, life changed once again. Gone were the visits to the hospital, the days missed from school, the pain of watching his mother wither away. Harry welcomed it all, and Louis was still by his side through everything, his role in Harry’s life a bit more complicated than before. The transition from friendship to dating came easily to the both of them, like it was the only natural thing to do. And really, no one was surprised.

From the moment they met, they connected on a level deeper than they could understand, especially at such a young age. One shared look said more than entire conversations ever could, neither of them having to say anything for the other to know exactly what they needed.

Their acceptances to University of Southern California came in the spring of their senior year, their dreams coming true just minutes apart. Harry, with his newly brightened outlook, immediately began planning their journey there, a huge road trip that would hit all of the cities that they had dreamed about when they were younger. The puzzle pieces that had been jumbled up for so long were finally falling into place, fitting together so perfectly that it was almost too good to be true.

Then Harry’s mother fainted during their graduation ceremony.

Immediately, everyone assumed that it was just the heat, the unnaturally warm spring simply taking its toll. It was Harry that convinced Anne to go back to the doctor, too scared for his mother to focus on anything but what had happened before and what could happen again.

The diagnosis came a week later: the cancer was back.

Harry’s perfect puzzle shattered into a billion pieces, far too many for Louis to put together all on his own. He watched as the boy that he had loved for so long fell apart along with his mother, unable to do anything to save either of them. It was worse this time, the cancer speeding through Anne’s body and destroying everything in its path. Harry pushed the road trip back further and further with a few offhand comments of, “Oh, we can just drive straight through New Mexico,” or, “Nashville wasn’t that important to us anyway, right?” Their three week trip had been smushed into the week before orientation, putting them on a highway-only path straight through the United States, only stopping to sleep when they simply couldn’t drive any longer.

Harry’s innocent hope vanished as reality set in: he and Louis were leaving in a few days and improvement didn’t seem to be on his mother’s horizon. It was too late and too expensive to buy plane tickets, and if they left any later, they might not make it in time. Nothing Louis said or did to distract Harry from the inevitable could make it easier to go, make him numb to the pain of leaving. To Harry, Louis was just doing the best he could in a shitty situation. And he loved him for that.

The goodbyes were hard; they always were. Louis held Harry’s hand while they were at Anne’s bedside, squeezing it with every cough that wracked through the body of the broken woman in front of them. A few whispered words echoing in the silence of the bleak room, countless bone-crushing hugs that simply couldn’t last long enough, and a teary-eyed Harry and Louis were off.

[-]

A comfortable silence came over the two of them, the radio’s soft melodies and the incessant buzz of rainfall providing the only background noise they needed. Suddenly, the scream of a phone broke their calm, hands splitting apart in surprise.

Harry just let it ring.

“It happened,” he whispered, not even looking at the phone in his lap.

“No, Harry, you don’t know that,” Louis replied, his words speeding up with worry. “It could be anyone. Just check, babe. Please.”

With a deep breath, Harry looked down at the screen, his sister’s phone number plastered across the display.

“Fuck, it’s Gemma and she’s calling to —”

“Check in on us,” Louis finished, putting a stop to Harry’s train of thought. “She’s your older sister and she wants to make sure we’re okay. Just answer her.”

Harry nodded, the ringtone piercing the air one last time before he answered the call with shaking fingers.

“Gems? What’s up?” he muttered, his bottom lip caught between his teeth.

Louis went mad in the silence, looking over at Harry every few seconds to watch his eyes spark and change with his sister’s words: fear, worry, numbness. He hung up moments later, his face completely expressionless.

“Haz?” Louis ventured, reaching over to grab his hand. “Please talk to me, love.”

“She’s…” Harry trailed off, lifting his head as a bright flash of white illuminated the world around them. “She’s – Louis, stop!”

Louis whipped around at Harry’s scream, catching view of the tree on the side of the road, a hole blown through its trunk by the lightning. In slow motion, it began to fall directly in their path. Louis, muttering curses under his breath, slammed on the brakes, the tires squealing as they desperately tried to find purchase in the slippery road. The pounding rainfall only slid the car closer, pushed the tree down faster. Harry’s knuckles went white from gripping onto Louis’s hand so tightly, refusing to let go as the darkness of the tree crept up on them.

Their declarations of love for each other were lost in the sounds of crunching metal and shattering glass.

**Author's Note:**

> don't hate mE I'M SORRY OKAY I HAD TO WRITE A ROAD TRIP/TRAGEDY AND THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED *deep breath*  
> this is my first 1d fic actually so please leave some feedback so that I can improve!! :)  
> 


End file.
